The horror...
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Monday, June 27, 2005
The wrong trousers?
It’s hot as hell again today, and since I am not an organised person and only did all my laundry yesterday, I had a bit of a dilemma this morning, deciding what to wear. I eventually selected a pair of floaty black trousers which I found in a separate section of my wardrobe. They looked fine, though I did wonder why I had removed them from the hangers and shoved them in with the t-shirts. I’m wondering, was there some reason I relegated them from the hanging section to the ‘rarely-worn-items’ shelf? I wonder because I have done this before. If an item of clothing suddenly becomes a disappointment to me, or I see a photo of myself wearing it, and the terrible truth that say, orange doesn’t suit me is revealed, instead of throwing it away, I shove it elsewhere in the wardrobe, on the off chance that if I need to decorate at some point in the future, I’ll have something to sling on. Eventually, these things do get thrown away, but fashion mistakes can occur in the interim period.
I’ve been wearing the trousers for a couple of hours now. So far, my only cause for complaint would be that they do seem to be attracting a fair bit of static…I’ll keep you posted as the day wears on.
Speaking of the weather, is anyone managing to get a good night’s sleep at the moment? I ask because I think that due to the heat, I am only sleeping very lightly, and am having the weirdest of dreams. Anyone else? Last night I dreamt that my ex-boyfriend from several years ago was in bed with me, which was pretty freaky. He looked just the same, when I am sure, in reality, that after we broke up, he lost all of his hair and developed a paunch – that’s what happens to all your exes, right? Then I dreamt that I was trialling a new product called ‘toast in a bag’ – (if this hasn’t yet been invented, then I think I will be making a trip to the patents office later), a nifty invention whereby you made your toast just as you were leaving the house, and then slipped it into a handy zip-lock bag that you wore much like a handbag, which would keep the toast fresh and warm, so you could eat it on your commute. As always, I am amazed by the level of detail in my freaky dreams, the bag was light blue, with the company logo in a darker blue stitching on the front panel…finally, I dreamt I was trying to return a broken vase to Heals. I had no receipt, and I had left the vase at home, but I was determined to get my money back, and was haranguing a salesperson when I woke up.
Naturally, I am a little confused as to what exactly my subconscious is trying to tell me. Any suggestions? However, ‘Toast in a bag’, people, you heard it here first.
I’ve been wearing the trousers for a couple of hours now. So far, my only cause for complaint would be that they do seem to be attracting a fair bit of static…I’ll keep you posted as the day wears on.
Speaking of the weather, is anyone managing to get a good night’s sleep at the moment? I ask because I think that due to the heat, I am only sleeping very lightly, and am having the weirdest of dreams. Anyone else? Last night I dreamt that my ex-boyfriend from several years ago was in bed with me, which was pretty freaky. He looked just the same, when I am sure, in reality, that after we broke up, he lost all of his hair and developed a paunch – that’s what happens to all your exes, right? Then I dreamt that I was trialling a new product called ‘toast in a bag’ – (if this hasn’t yet been invented, then I think I will be making a trip to the patents office later), a nifty invention whereby you made your toast just as you were leaving the house, and then slipped it into a handy zip-lock bag that you wore much like a handbag, which would keep the toast fresh and warm, so you could eat it on your commute. As always, I am amazed by the level of detail in my freaky dreams, the bag was light blue, with the company logo in a darker blue stitching on the front panel…finally, I dreamt I was trying to return a broken vase to Heals. I had no receipt, and I had left the vase at home, but I was determined to get my money back, and was haranguing a salesperson when I woke up.
Naturally, I am a little confused as to what exactly my subconscious is trying to tell me. Any suggestions? However, ‘Toast in a bag’, people, you heard it here first.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
She's back
Yeah baby, I'm back! I do feel all refreshed after my mini-break, even if I was so tired this morning that I put the butter in the sink and the knife in the fridge as I was leaving the kitchen. It was only when I couldn't get the knife to balance next to the bio-yogurts that I realised something was amiss. It isn't so surprising when you consider the fact that our fridge is kind of like an adult version of Ker-plunk, that kids game where you have to remove the pieces slowly without disturbing the other components, and putting the groceries away after a big shop is kind of like food Tetris. Some would say get a bigger fridge, and some would say tight landlord never provides. The freezer is even worse...
So, I'm back, and from the state of my intray and the number of emails awaiting me, it will be some time before I resurface. Honestly, go away for three *working* days and people think they can just dump stuff on your desk. And I am soooo tired - I even dreamt about sleeping this morning. But it's all ok since I am still on a high from my successful shopping missions whilst on break - 2 new pairs of shoes, 3 new 'going out' tops, 1 bag, 2 perfumes, sundry make-up and bathing products. Impressive or what? I get a warm feeling just thinking about the pink shoes. (They're pink. They're high-heeled. They have pink sparkly jewels on them, in a style reminiscent of Christian Louboutin. Mmmmm.)
Right, suppose I should do a bit of work really. But perhaps a cup of tea first, wouldn't want to rush into anything.
So, I'm back, and from the state of my intray and the number of emails awaiting me, it will be some time before I resurface. Honestly, go away for three *working* days and people think they can just dump stuff on your desk. And I am soooo tired - I even dreamt about sleeping this morning. But it's all ok since I am still on a high from my successful shopping missions whilst on break - 2 new pairs of shoes, 3 new 'going out' tops, 1 bag, 2 perfumes, sundry make-up and bathing products. Impressive or what? I get a warm feeling just thinking about the pink shoes. (They're pink. They're high-heeled. They have pink sparkly jewels on them, in a style reminiscent of Christian Louboutin. Mmmmm.)
Right, suppose I should do a bit of work really. But perhaps a cup of tea first, wouldn't want to rush into anything.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
A very merry un-birthday
I did it. I got through Tuesday and today and now I’m just ticking off the seconds until it is time to leave work, pack suitcase and fly (note to self: tickets, money, passport). There was a spot of bother first thing this morning, before I had even left the house, with the shower rota. Yes, you read that right. My picky, picky, picky, petty (you get the picture) housemates have a ‘shower rota’ for the mornings, which they insisted upon when I moved in. I wasn’t paying much attention when they originally designated the official ‘shower times’, and somehow ended up with the worst timeslot – basically, they get to use the shower first, and I have to wait ‘til past 8.15…since it takes approx 45 mins to get to work (on a good day), it isn’t exactly ideal, but you know, when you first move in, you don’t want to cause ructions, you don’t realise that your housemates are really clinically insane, yaddayaddayadda.
In order to beat the ‘rota’, I have to get up ridiculously early, which is not in my nature, but needs must. So there I was this morning, merrily applying shampoo to my hair, when someone began banging loudly on the bathroom door. As you’ll all know, once you’ve applied the shampoo, you have to rinse fairly soon afterwards, and then conditioner must be applied immediately. The housemate banging on the door then yelled that they had to take a shower, right now. Seething inwardly at the lack of respect I am afforded in my own home, I yelled back that I had already applied shampoo and there was no turning back. When I exited the bathroom, all of 5 minutes later, they were both stood by the door, holding their towels. They know better than to eyeball me, thank god, but the atmosphere was decidedly tense. In view of these events, could you all please keep a careful watch on the night skies later, as since I didn’t use my designated shower timeslot this morning, there is a risk that the earth may not turn on its axis. You’ve been warned, and, I’m sorry, I guess.
Things could only get better after that, and since I didn’t want to kill anyone on the tube today, I must be in my holiday mood already. Today has been a good day so far. My birthday is tomorrow, but as I won’t be here, my colleagues thought we should go to the pub at lunch time, to wish me a very merry un-birthday. That went well, and it was followed by cups of tea back at the office and C had even bought a little chocolate cake in my honour.
So, I really am off now, and hope that I will return from the break all refreshed, revitalised, rejuvenated and all manner of other things beginning with ‘re’.
In order to beat the ‘rota’, I have to get up ridiculously early, which is not in my nature, but needs must. So there I was this morning, merrily applying shampoo to my hair, when someone began banging loudly on the bathroom door. As you’ll all know, once you’ve applied the shampoo, you have to rinse fairly soon afterwards, and then conditioner must be applied immediately. The housemate banging on the door then yelled that they had to take a shower, right now. Seething inwardly at the lack of respect I am afforded in my own home, I yelled back that I had already applied shampoo and there was no turning back. When I exited the bathroom, all of 5 minutes later, they were both stood by the door, holding their towels. They know better than to eyeball me, thank god, but the atmosphere was decidedly tense. In view of these events, could you all please keep a careful watch on the night skies later, as since I didn’t use my designated shower timeslot this morning, there is a risk that the earth may not turn on its axis. You’ve been warned, and, I’m sorry, I guess.
Things could only get better after that, and since I didn’t want to kill anyone on the tube today, I must be in my holiday mood already. Today has been a good day so far. My birthday is tomorrow, but as I won’t be here, my colleagues thought we should go to the pub at lunch time, to wish me a very merry un-birthday. That went well, and it was followed by cups of tea back at the office and C had even bought a little chocolate cake in my honour.
So, I really am off now, and hope that I will return from the break all refreshed, revitalised, rejuvenated and all manner of other things beginning with ‘re’.
Monday, June 13, 2005
Hiatus
London is bugging me, and I have a birthday coming up, so I’m taking a break. I’m nearly over the cold, caused, as you’ll know from the post below, by tube travel with inconsiderate individuals who can’t be trusted to keep their germs to themselves. This morning’s journey did not inspire any warm feelings in me towards my fellow men and women, and I am beginning to suspect that I may be a woman on the edge.
As I was on my way in, I got eyeballed by a man after I had the temerity to say “Excuse me” as I almost imperceptibly brushed passed him. He looked at me as if I had just tried to hump his leg or something. Honestly, what I wouldn’t give for a hand-held cattle prod at times like these. That drama over, (having simply stared him down – the force is stronger with my stare, and he was soon rueing the day), I was sandwiched between a man who had forgotten his deodorant, and a women who had been rather too liberal with a desperately cloying fragrance, which I can still smell now, as I sit at my desk typing this.
Things looked up once I entered the building, what with the free tea-making facilities and all, but, I know in my heart I’d be happier in my bed, lazily flicking through a magazine, drinking tea and snacking on chocolate chip and hazelnut cookies (chocolate chip alone does not suffice), as the sun filters through my window. I’ve already been to one meeting this morning, (hiked four flights of stairs to get to it, sat down and was then told it had to be postponed, and could I just ‘pop’ back downstairs, and ‘pop’ up again later? I think you’ll all agree that it is not physically possible to ‘pop’ up and down four flights of stairs, but at least it saves me on gym membership, so, onwards and upwards) and there’s another in five minutes. Why do people schedule meetings at lunchtime? It’s wrong. But then, meetings in general are wrong, but they do pass the time, I suppose.
So, I’m taking a break. Which means this will be a three-day week, which is always nice, and I’m away on Thursday, ’til the following Tuesday, leaving the pollution and grime of the city behind as I head for the wild lands of the North (well, Lancashire actually). I’ve a hectic schedule of relaxation planned, with lie-ins, long, leisurely breakfasts, a little mooching on the couch, some television watching, the odd foray to the local shop to replenish food supplies, and some long, long, bubble baths. If there’s time, I’ll shoehorn some long walks in the sunshine in, and maybe a (shoe) shopping excursion, but that is all.
Okay. Just got to keep it together today, tomorrow and Weds. Deep breaths.
As I was on my way in, I got eyeballed by a man after I had the temerity to say “Excuse me” as I almost imperceptibly brushed passed him. He looked at me as if I had just tried to hump his leg or something. Honestly, what I wouldn’t give for a hand-held cattle prod at times like these. That drama over, (having simply stared him down – the force is stronger with my stare, and he was soon rueing the day), I was sandwiched between a man who had forgotten his deodorant, and a women who had been rather too liberal with a desperately cloying fragrance, which I can still smell now, as I sit at my desk typing this.
Things looked up once I entered the building, what with the free tea-making facilities and all, but, I know in my heart I’d be happier in my bed, lazily flicking through a magazine, drinking tea and snacking on chocolate chip and hazelnut cookies (chocolate chip alone does not suffice), as the sun filters through my window. I’ve already been to one meeting this morning, (hiked four flights of stairs to get to it, sat down and was then told it had to be postponed, and could I just ‘pop’ back downstairs, and ‘pop’ up again later? I think you’ll all agree that it is not physically possible to ‘pop’ up and down four flights of stairs, but at least it saves me on gym membership, so, onwards and upwards) and there’s another in five minutes. Why do people schedule meetings at lunchtime? It’s wrong. But then, meetings in general are wrong, but they do pass the time, I suppose.
So, I’m taking a break. Which means this will be a three-day week, which is always nice, and I’m away on Thursday, ’til the following Tuesday, leaving the pollution and grime of the city behind as I head for the wild lands of the North (well, Lancashire actually). I’ve a hectic schedule of relaxation planned, with lie-ins, long, leisurely breakfasts, a little mooching on the couch, some television watching, the odd foray to the local shop to replenish food supplies, and some long, long, bubble baths. If there’s time, I’ll shoehorn some long walks in the sunshine in, and maybe a (shoe) shopping excursion, but that is all.
Okay. Just got to keep it together today, tomorrow and Weds. Deep breaths.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Germ warfare
Of all the joys of living in London, perhaps my favourite has to be enforced tube travel. And the best thing about this is the people who cough/sneeze/splutter/etc without covering their mouths.
You know who you are you disgusting freaks and miscreants. What’s wrong with you all? Why must we all share in your suffering?
Due to their negligence, or rather, their propensity for sharing, I am now, just as the weather is taking a turn for the better, struck down with a hideous head cold. I am also suffering from eye strain as a result of my constant vigilance for people committing this most heinous of crimes, followed by my giving them my patented ‘evil stare’. I can keep up ‘the stare’ for the whole journey.
Got hardly any sleep last night as I had to do that breathing-through-one-nostril thing for what seemed like hours, and so it turned out to be as I was still awake at 3am. And another thing, why is there still no medication you can take for this that clears up your symptoms? Despite what must be an obscenely wealthy cold remedy industry, none of the products actually work, do they? I know, for I have tried them all over the past 24 hours, and I am still blowing my nose every five minutes. Plus I’m all achy, tired, congested, whinge, whinge, whinge.
Perhaps the only sensible solution would be to try to buy shares in Kleenex, so the next time this happens, I won’t feel quite so hard done by. Sheesh.
You know who you are you disgusting freaks and miscreants. What’s wrong with you all? Why must we all share in your suffering?
Due to their negligence, or rather, their propensity for sharing, I am now, just as the weather is taking a turn for the better, struck down with a hideous head cold. I am also suffering from eye strain as a result of my constant vigilance for people committing this most heinous of crimes, followed by my giving them my patented ‘evil stare’. I can keep up ‘the stare’ for the whole journey.
Got hardly any sleep last night as I had to do that breathing-through-one-nostril thing for what seemed like hours, and so it turned out to be as I was still awake at 3am. And another thing, why is there still no medication you can take for this that clears up your symptoms? Despite what must be an obscenely wealthy cold remedy industry, none of the products actually work, do they? I know, for I have tried them all over the past 24 hours, and I am still blowing my nose every five minutes. Plus I’m all achy, tired, congested, whinge, whinge, whinge.
Perhaps the only sensible solution would be to try to buy shares in Kleenex, so the next time this happens, I won’t feel quite so hard done by. Sheesh.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Ouch
Yeah, I just got paid. So all this money came into my bank account, and then it all went straight back out again.
I just read this:
Which I wholeheartedly recommend, and although it made me glad that I'm not working as a plongeur in some revolting hotel in 1920s Paris, and nor am I surviving on a diet of 'tea and two slice', but still. We're a long way off the end of this month, and I already feel like I am borasic lint.
I just read this:
Which I wholeheartedly recommend, and although it made me glad that I'm not working as a plongeur in some revolting hotel in 1920s Paris, and nor am I surviving on a diet of 'tea and two slice', but still. We're a long way off the end of this month, and I already feel like I am borasic lint.
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