I'm back!

Yes, you can all rejoice and be merry as I return to the cut and thrust world of blogging once more. I know, I know, I’ve been away for too long, but honestly, moving house, not quite the breeze I was hoping for. So anyway, back to business. I have, as you may have gathered, moved house. I’ll just type that again because it feels so good: I’ve moved house.

Yes, I managed to flee the evil clutches of Tall One and Short One, making my escape in a transit van with all of my worldly possessions crammed into the back. It was a close run thing however; on the morning of my planned escape, I found a hand-written note outside my bedroom door. I will speak plainly with you; it consisted of stern stuff, this note. Not only was it riddled with grammatical mistakes, which are shocking enough before breakfast, it also accused me, in plain language, of stealing 4 drinking glasses from Tall One. There was not a shred of diplomacy in the content of the note – there was no implication that I might have mistakenly taken her glasses, oh no, just a bald accusation of theft.

Well, it so happens that the glasses in question were already packed, nestling amongst several layers of newspaper and sundry kitchen equipment in one of my many cardboard boxes. It also happens that the glasses in question are in fact, mine. MINE. Many responses ran through my mind, as I stood with the note clutched in my hands, just outside my bedroom, hovering in the liminal space between the much-debated and much-maligned pre-ordained shower-rota times. Many of these responses carried variations on a theme i.e. I wouldn’t touch your crap with a barge pole, you insane bitch/you can stick your glasses where the sun don’t shine, you insane bitch/write me another note and I’ll stab you in the eye with your own biro, you insane bitch and so on and so forth. In the end, however, I decided to go with ripping the note to shreds and then not mentioning it, to see if she would have the nerve to confront me on this glass issue face to face as it were. So the subject never came up, naturally, and I left the house with the allegedly contraband glasses.

Strangely, since I left, my headaches and chronic neck pain have almost completely eased off. Curious, no?