Not ready for my close up

We're having video conferencing equippment installed at the office. I know that VCing has been around for ages, but we've never had to do it here, and I've avoided it in all my previous jobs so far. I came into the office to the headache-inducing sounds of intermittent heavy drilling, and then, just as I was about to nip out for lunch, was summoned for a 'tutorial'.

As soon as I sat down in the meeting room, I could see myself on the widescreen tv mounted on the wall opposite. The two engineers ran through all the functions and it all seemed quite straightforward, but seeing yourself on screen is so disconcerting. I was trying to focus on what was being said, but all I could think about was how weird my nostrils looked. I've never before had a problem with my nose - of all my imperfections that I obsess over on a daily basis, my nose has never really bothered me. Now it does, and most specifically, my nostrils. Which looked weirdly uneven, and noticably large on the screen.

It could just have been the camera angle, right?

But that wasn't all I noticed. I now have a complex about the fact that I seem to naturally tilt my head to the right. It seems to be my default head position. I look oddly lop-sided and as though I am permanently considering a serious issue. Not the case, obviously. To counteract this, I kept adjusting my head throughout the tutorial, but got confused by the left-right reverse camera angle, and kept tilting even further to the right, then jerking my head back to the left. Like a nutcase. I think the engineers thought I had a twitch.

Also, when trying not to laugh at my colleagues' techno-phobic questions, i.e. after the engineers showed us 3 different ways to press the mute button, 'so how do we turn the sound off?', I quite obviously press my lips together, which totally gives the game away. Later caught myself rolling my eyes at further idiotic questions; not subtle.

I also blink. A lot.

I'm really looking forward to our first conference...