The air-conditioning unit is trying to kill me

Well, ok, perhaps that is a little dramatic. It isn’t actually trying to kill me (as far as I’m aware). Here’s the rub: The air-conditioning unit has been moved. It used to be above Sylvia’s desk, when she worked here, and she constantly complained about how the icy air continually blasted onto her shoulders. But, you know, it gets very hot in the office, and we largely ignored her and enjoyed the cooler temperature as we slaved over our hot PCs. However, she kept complaining, and eventually the deputy MD heard her cries and it was moved.

They moved it in the winter, when you don’t have any call to use it. They moved it to above my desk. It is like a form of torture. I sit here, and someone complains about how hot it is, we have to turn the fucking thing on, and all the muscles in my left shoulder start to seize up. I’m actually in physical pain. It is a remote controlled unit, so you are supposed to be able to angle the blades of the fan so that the cold air would (theoretically) shoot over my desk and not hit my shoulder. Whoever designed this remote control was clearly a frustrated design graduate, stuck in a dead end job at an air-conditioning factory, out to seek revenge in whatever small, petty way they could. Every time you press the button to angle the blades, it beeps. It beeps at a volume that hits a nerve in my brain just so. It beeps and the blades move by less than a millimetre. You have to keep pressing the buttons until it is at just the right angle, then, you misjudge it and the blades start to go in the opposite direction. And you have to start again. I’ve given up doing that now as I have discovered after a lengthy session of pressing all the relevant buttons, that even when the freaking thing is angled just so, it still hits my shoulder like an arctic wind.

Good god.

I raised the issue of moving it elsewhere at the office meeting on Monday. The responses:
‘Just angle the blades.’
‘Did you know you can angle the blades?’
‘If you angle the blades, you can direct the flow of air.’
You. Don’t. Say.

They are refusing to move it because, apparently, there’s nowhere else for it to go. For the love of god.

I see now, and I think you'll all agree, that my only option is industrial sabotage. I’ll report back on my progress.