Moving house

Decided to up anchor and move to WordPress. Feel like a change, and it allows me to bring together all the twitter stuff too, and hopefully will be a motivator to get me to update more often and actually have some sort of direction, bla bla, anyway - here you go:
http://emsical.wordpress.com

Yet another good mood - these just keep on coming

Feeling absolutely fantastic right about now. Am drinking Prosecco with raspberries floating in it, and listening to a bit of old skool Fleetwood Mac, which is no doubt helping with the overall sense of well-being. Also, the weather is heavenly today, so it's all good, baby. But - I have also been thinking, I seem to be a bit more zen at the moment anyway - what can have brought all this on? Who knows? Why question it and be suspicious of my own happiness?

So - to business. French class - going well. Think I may be turning into the student everyone else hates - it isn't my fault, I am just starting to remember all the French I learned the first time around. Not that I am meaning to show off, or anything...
Driving - also going well...only 4 hours in. Switching gears appears to be something of an arcane art at the moment. No, grasshopper, you must not look upon the gearstick, one must grope blindly whilst keeping one's eyes on the road and one's other hand firmly on the steering wheel. Ok. Other no-nos: looking at your feet whilst driving, signalling before looking in the mirror, taking both hands off wheel in a panic whenever another vehicle is spied in the rear view mirror, etc. I will get there in the end. Feel very lucky because my instructor is brilliant - really laid back, and yet on my case all the time. Also, as Alice pointed out, I do not fancy him, which is apparently a bonus. Huge bonus to learning now that I am (ahem) older - I could not care less about making mistakes. Every time I cock up, I usually burst out laughing in an utterly shameless way. If other motorists can't see the massive L plates and sign on top of the car, then frankly, they shouldn't be on the road.
Bollywood dance class - will surely be spotted by talent scout any day now...

Right, off to listen to more Mac, Mamas and the Papas, Beach Boys, Bowie et al.

All shook up

Ooh - all conflicted about everything. Still in a good mood, but just a bit confused, I suppose. What do I want? What do any of us really want? OR. Or. Is it that I do really know what I want, but I am worried about the consequences? Hmmm.

Looking up

Things are. They are looking up. The sun is shining, off to French class tonight (have, of course, forgotten how to say ANYTHING in French, so it should be interesting to say the least), dance classes continue apace, new series of Family Guy started last night and I managed to get a reprieve from the root canal surgery. It's all good baby.

Wednesday should be particularly good...will let you know.

Yoga etc

Went to yoga on Friday night - intensive hatha class. It is from 6 until 7, led by a lovely woman called Amanda. She just has this lovely energy and is a great teacher - it kind of seems like she isn't pushing you too hard, but everyone still comes out of the class kind of shaky and wobbly. Because I am obsessed with trying to keep fit - in part due to body dysmorphic disorder (how come an awareness of it doesn't make it stop? Am about the same size as I have been for about 10 years in reality, but most of the time I am convinced I am fat. And if I was just a bit thinner, then of course my whole life would absolutley fucking perfect - I know it isn't just me.)- and in part due to the fact that the endorphin hit I get after yoga or my dance class makes me feel so good and blissed out that I think I may be becoming addicted to it. Anyway, I must be pretty fit now as I even went to yoga this morning - that's right, you heard me - this morning - that's Sunday morning at 10.30 for an hour and a half hatha practice. The focus in the class this month is back bends.

There is of course, a spiritual side to yoga, which I assume is also doing me good. At the start of each session, you have to think of someone or something you would like to dedicate your practice to. It can be someone who you care about, someone who could do with a lift, etc. You can also dedicate your practice to someone you don't like, someone you have had trouble with and so on. Back bends, we were told today, are all about forgiveness and letting go. Sometimes, when people are doing back bends, they get emotional, because there is a kind of release. This happened to me today - I could feel myself starting to cry, but just about managed to hold it together. Was thinking about all the crap that bothers me, all the stuff that is just sitting on top of me, or, all the stuff that I am carrying round with me, weighing me down. And the constant state of alertness that I seem to be in. Could be to do with the job, but it is also everything else.

Suppose in particular, when Amanda said to think of someone who perhaps has upset you, or you have upset them, and to just take the time to let it go, I thought of two individuals, and I did think, I hope I can just let this go, today.

It's good to have this space to ramble.

Watch out, there are protesters about

Apparently. My god, the fuss over G20 is insane. I work in Westminster, where there are no protests planned, and we were all told to 'dress casually', and that we could work from home today. Cue my entire team electing to do just that. I came in as I go completely stir crazy when I work from home, and besides, since I don't work for a financial insitution, and am nowhere near the City, there is no risk whatsoever.

Suppose I will eat my words if it all kicks off and my building is inexplicably taken under siege, but, I have just managed a quick foray to Pret without incident, so fingers crossed. Well, I say without incident, but in fact, that isn't strictly true. The staff at Pret have clearly received the Rolls Royce of customer service training; they're almost too good, you know? They tread a very fine line between getting it just right and patronisingly insincere. Well, at my local branch, they are always practically falling over themselves to be super-duper nice to the extent that they sometimes trip up. The guy behind the counter welcomed me as if I was a long lost family friend; I have become accustomed to this effusiveness, but it does make for an awkward exchange. They ask you how you are - you reply in the standard format: 'fine thanks', then you have to ask them how they are, out of politeness - of course they're doing fine - they are happy! They work at Pret, for god's sake, and all this with the knowledge that the emphasis is on speed of service and people are waiting whilst this dance of pleasantries is played out. So, he then took my order in a prompt fashion, but then lost it completely and referred to the woman behind me as a gentleman. Clearly an honest mistake, but she didn't take it very well. Then she spoke really fast, and tried to make a joke about how strong she wanted her coffee - the barista, flustered by the gender blunder, ended up serving her a skinny latte, when she had actually requested a rocket-fuel strength espresso. Imagine the horror and scenes of devastation if you will. I escaped with my life, a tall latte and a little packet of brown sugar. And a stirrer.

Will keep you posted on the siege situation.

Gaah

Just had passport photos done for driver's licence. Now have complex re symmetry (or lack thereof) of face. Harsh, very harsh. New guidelines state that you cannot have any of your hair anywhere near your eyes (fair enough), or covering your ears (whaaaa? What on earth is all that about - since when do they identify you by your ears alone? Is there some new ear-recognition technology I am unaware of? Sheesh). So I had to pull my hair back into an unflattering pony tail, and remove my glasses. I should really have thought about this in advance. If I had, I would have worn my contact lenses. Once I removed my glasses, I couldn't actually see what I looked like on the handy screen in the 'Photo-Me' booth. When not wearing glasses or contacts I tend to look a little lost. Resulting image makes me look a little sad, like I just received some bad news. Oh well.

As if it isn't bad enough these days, with people putting unsanctioned photos of you up on facebook, now I have an unsanctioned photo going in a permanent id document. Re facebook, I know, I know I could de-tag - but that just makes you look vain! (Which, I know, I kind of am, for even thinking that way).

Anyway, must put all this aside and focus on the exciting prospect of me behind the wheel very soon. I have left it a little late, but honestly, when you move to London, as I did so many years ago now, it just doesn't seem necessary, and it is so expensive to learn, so I kept putting it off. Has been one of my new year's resolutions for about 10 years, so yay me - am finally taking some action. Lots of things on the list at the moment- driving, refresher French course, Bollywood dance classes (oh, don't fret, more on this soon), yoga bunnydom, holiday etc etc. oh yeah, and the completed draft of the (potentially Oscar-winning) screenplay. Will keep you posted.

Overload

Feeling pretty damn good today. It is Saturday, after all, and that, according to the shameless Lurpak adverts, is Breakfast Day. I think, I am feeling so good, due to the gruelling yoga session I put myself through last night. I am in pain, but I get to feel smug, because I have exercised. I even plan to do it again on Sunday morning - at 10.30 (inner voice asking whether I am insane or not...). I am keen to do more exercise, because whenever I do, I have to admit, I feel utterly blissed out afterwards - practically high, on endorphins I assume.

So, to the matter in hand. I can't quite seem to give this blog up, and yet, I now have a twitter feed, and I am on facebook - and, in the manner of Carrie Bradshaw, I can't help but wonder, is this all a bit too much? Do I need to be telling everyone* what I am doing all the time, and why do I want to do it?

I originally started this blog to get myself back into writing - it kind of worked, but I ended up spending more time on this than on my (yet to be completed potentially Oscar-winning) screenplay. Because, this is easy and fast. Maybe it's all about trends - blogs were massive, and some still are, but then facebook was really in, and it is still popular, but all anyone can talk about at the moment is Twitter. Hmm.

*heh, 'everyone', I know.

Define hell

Hell is...having to work with someone you slept with. EVERY day. Because it is always there. It never goes away. And it is hell.

Thank crunchie

Yes, it's Friday, thank god and all his little angels. It's been a long week. Long. It started off badly, on Monday, when they made the announcements about how the organisation review is going to go down. Shan't bore you with the details, but it wasn't a fun day. Things did pick up on Monday evening - forced myself to do some yoga - and here's the thing - that stuff actually works. Felt loads better after that - was breathing easier and everything. Then - that's right: Tuesday. Tuesday didn't bring any joy either, but then I had my Bollywood dance class. That's right, you heard me: Bollywood dance. I'm a total convert to this now - absolutely LOVE it. In the words of Nicole Kidman in the world's most annoying advert: 'I'm a darrncer. I loooooove to dance!'. Then, of course, Wednesday came around - honestly, there's no orginality with the days of the week - same old, same old, all year round. Wednesday was just long, to be honest - work is horrrreeeebeeelay at the moment, and Weds was full of it. Things picked up in the evening - well, I say picked up, they slowed down actually, so that I could consume a bottle of red wine to myself. I blame the person who shall remain nameless (female flatmate), who insisted on drinking white wine and forced me to consume all the red.

Then, came Thursday, and you know, the end was in sight then, so it was a better day. And as you know, today was Friday, and somehow, despite all the frickin work I had to do today, I got through it, and even braved a quick, and, once I got there, I realised, totally unnecessary trip to Oxford St. (Could've gone to the House of Fraser on Victoria St - wtf was I thinking?). Anyways - made my purchases, and it was over. And now, Friday is nearly over, and two glorious days lie ahead, days when I don't have to go into the office.

Right - will start enjoying the weekend now - if it's good, I'll be sure to let you know.

Bored? Try The Superest
or, you could go here and just feel better about everything

One of these days

Am actually going to update this thing regularly. So the latest:

I have just booked my holiday to Antibes! Not going until September, but that's ok, because I am booked to do a refresher French course for 10 weeks in April. Looking forward to this, as I am hoping that all the French I learned all those years ago is still locked in my brain somewhere. When I look back to the work I had to do for the A Level - write essays on French government, in French, for example, and speak knowledgeably on the plight of underpaid nurses (we had a rather politicized French teacher; she used to get very frustrated with us, a bunch of rather apathetic teens in Lancashire, who would look at her blankly while she would ask us with a note of incredulity in her voice 'Don't you care? About ze nurses? About what ze poleeeticians are doo-ing? Don't you care?'* - some of us did care, but would have been hard-pressed to express our views in French), and now, I can just about remember how to tell you my name, and ask for yours, book a room in a hotel and other such basics, and probably do all of that in slighlty Italian-accented French, well, you get the picture.

In other news, appear to have been struck down by yet another head cold. This is all my fault for congratulating myself on not getting any colds all of last year. I regularly take vitamin C with zinc, and had somehow convinced myself that this was acting as a talismanic protection against ever getting another cold, and feeling smug about my clearly superior immune system. I also blame all those disgusting people on public transport who don't cover their mouths when they cough, and who insist on dragging themselves into work and sharing their germs around rather than staying home and getting better. Anyway, am all dosed up with vitamin C (not ready to turn my back on it just yet), some vile-tasting cough medicine (the viler it tastes, the more effective it must be, no?), and a near lethal amount of paracetamol. Unfortunately, I appear to have what can mildly be described as a massive allergic reaction to the vile-tasting, triple-strength cough medicine. I have a lovely rash all over my neck, a small patch of redness on my chin and just below my nose, and it is spreading all over the torso area. Have attempted to remedy this with a variety of antihistamines - nothing doing so far. Am supposed to be going out this evening, but I shan't be going out of doors if I look like I have the lurgi.

That's probably enough of an update for now. I will post more when I have had a think about what I would like to do with this blog next...

*apologies for the shameless stereotyping of Dominique's accent - but how else was I going to get across that she was French, without me telling you? Eh?