And god created visa...

And she saw that it was good. Took the day off on Tuesday for a whole day of Xmas shopping. On Oxford Street. Yes, some may call it madness, but there was method in my madness. First port of call was the cash machine outside the station – after having selected the cash option, it shockingly displayed the words that send a chill down the spine of card carriers everywhere: ‘insufficient funds’. Egads! There I was, all set for a day of shopping, and disaster had stuck before I had even stood in the shadow of the hallowed doors of Libertys or Selfridges. I wandered around dazedly for about five minutes, trying to figure out how this could have happened, how I was going to shop, and slightly more importantly, how I was going to eat until pay day. Started to feel a bit pissed off about it all, and then I felt a change coming over me, and I reacted the way I always do when confronted with a lack of funds. A little voice in my head says ‘Fuck it, it’s only money!’, and I decided to hit my visa card in an act of rebellion and with nothing less than wild abandon.

Mini financial crisis thus temporarily shelved, I mentally regrouped and prepared to put my military-style shopping expedition into action. Entered the first shop at oh-nine hundred and forty-five hours, and immediately happened on a pair of boots so heavenly I shed a tear whilst trying them on - they had been reduced from £60 to £20 and I was overcome with emotion when they had them in my size. Snapped them up, moved on to the next shop and proceeded to find the fabled, lesser-spotted pencil skirt of myth which has eluded me for weeks, then hit the jackpot with a silky-satiny-black-lacy vesty top that will go with EVERYTHING in my wardrobe, which was also reduced, and as I was queuing to buy that spotted a Matthew Williamson cardigan with fluted sleeves out of the corner of my eye - added that to the pile of purchases. Took a break for lunch, gazed appreciatively at my bags whilst waiting for my food to be served and then realised I had not, as yet, bought any Xmas presents for friends and family. Hmm. Military precision clearly somewhat lacking – I lose all focus when I enter a shoe shop. Pulled myself together and spent about 30 mins whizzing round doing the gift buying, agonising over extras and stocking fillers etc, but got it all done…then continued buying things (for myself). Haven't had such a good shopping day in ages. Absolutely exhausting though.

Later on discovered there was a problem not with my cash card, but with the cash machine. I do have sufficient funds and will be able to buy food and survive until payday. As I related this story to Red, about how I had unnecessarily hammered my visa card, she said ‘Oh well, you can just pay off the visa next month.’ Yeah, right. Hasn’t she ever heard of the two words that make all visa card carriers feel warm and happy inside? Minimum payment...